Sorry to be MIA again. Work gets busy, and with Benjy home this week, my evenings have been filled with other things.

I won’t lie — I love having him home. He’s been hard at work weeding the flower beds and catching up on gardening and yard work that I can’t really do. We’ve visited my parents in their new home so that he could have a chance to see them. My brother and his family came over, too, so the cousins were all together. Good times.

So, I'm behind on Breaking Point already — I’m disappointed with myself but not surprised — but I hope to catch up. And what music am I listening to?

I started out noodling around on iTunes looking for new music and had a preliminary playlist going. That has morphed a bit with some new downloads and now it looks like this:

Beautiful by 10 Years
Landing In London by faves 3 Doors Down & Bob Seger
Santa Monica by Theory of a Deadman
Believe by Staind
Save Me by Shinedown
Call Me by Shinedown
Breaking Inside Shinedown
If You Only Knew by Shinedown
Beautiful Day by Saving Abel
Drowning (Face Down) by Saving Abel
Oye Como Va by Santana
Suite Española, Op. 47: Asturias by Pepe Romero
Not Afraid by Eminem
Wherever You Will Go by The Calling
This Is Baghdad by Bruce Cockburn
Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin

I was listening to My First Kiss by 3OH!3 — they’re local boys for me — but it was a bit too happy for this part of the story. (We're going to have some exclusive 3OH!3 stuff in our paper soon when their new CD comes out.)

There's some Nickelback tossed in there, as well as Hinder and Hoobastank. The Bruce Cockburn piece is really evocative because he visited Iraq before he wrote it and the "war zone" element is reflected in the song, I think. (I interviewed him about it when he came back; he is amazing.) Even if Zach and Natalie aren’t in the Middle East, they’re definitely in a war zone... especially right now.

And because so many of you have said you need a fix, I searched through the 68 pages I've written and pulled out something I thought I could share without spoiling the story.

Yes, I'm posting an excerpt from Chapter 3 of Breaking Point! I won't be around much till next week, so hopefully this will tide you over. In the meantime, I wish my American readers a happy Memorial Day in memory of those who have served. To everyone else, have a happy weekend!


“Zach, wake up! I think they’re coming!”

Zach jerked awake.

Men’s voices grew nearer.

Gritting his teeth, Zach dragged himself upright, more aware of Natalie’s fear than his own discomfort or dread. He fought to catch his breath. “It’s okay … Cárdenas isn’t here yet. They’re … coming for me… not for you.”

“It’s not okay! No matter what you’ve done, you don’t deserve to be tortured or chained up like this. You are in chains, aren’t you? I can hear them when you move.”

“I guess they figure… I’m more of a threat than you are.” And then it hit him. She thought he was a criminal. Not surprising, given their situation and how little he’d told her.

In that instant, the door was thrown wide, daylight spilling across his blindfold. Familiar voices joked in Spanish about Natalie.

“She is pretty — and shy. Look. She doesn’t like it when I touch her.”

Zach thought he heard Natalie gasp, her shoes scuffing on the floor as she backed away from the door to her cell.

The men laughed.

“I hope El Jefe shares her when he’s done with her. Oh, she makes me hard.”

“Do you think El Jefe would mind if we fuck only her mouth?”

Anger and disgust burned through Zach, reviving him, clearing his head. “Cárdenas will feed your dick to his dogs, you stupid chingadero.”

That got their attention.

Zach heard a key slip into the lock of his cell door.

“Eh, cuñado, are you ready to talk? Or do you want to die screaming?”

He ignored the taunt. “You should feed her. Do you think your Jefe wants a weak, half-starved bag of bones? And if these scorpions sting her and make her sick — I wonder what El Jefe will do to you then?”

The odor of alcohol and sour sweat assaulted Zach’s nostrils as someone leaned down and spoke directly into his face. “Shut your mouth before I cut out your tongue, you stinking son of whore.”

His manacles were unclipped from the chain, then he was hauled to his feet, one Zeta on either side. He stumbled blindly forward, wishing he had the strength to fight them. He’d tried it on his first day here, but he hadn’t been able to get his cuffed hands in front of his body fast enough to pull his blindfold off so that he could see the men he was trying to fight. That’s when they’d broken his ribs.

Now, he barely had the strength to stand upright.

“Zach!” Natalie’s voice came from his right. “I’ll pray for you!”

He dug in his heels, fought to stand his ground for just another moment. “Listen to me, Natalie. Don’t let Cárdenas inside your head. Nothing he can do to you can change who you are. Remember that!”

“Stay alive, Zach! Please!”

“If I don’t, I promise to haunt these bastards for the rest—”

Then he was shoved roughly forward, pain splitting his side, stealing his breath. Sunlight hit him full in the face, cool stone giving way to familiar hot gravel beneath his bare feet. Every muscle in his body tensed.

I am an American, fighting in the forces which guard my country…

He started to recite the code of conduct, trying to prepare his mind for what was to come, but a different thought replaced it. It was nothing much — just a name — but it seemed to put steel back into his spine.

Natalie.

So there you go!

And this just in...

I hope everyone is doing well. It was a crazy-busy week here on Colorado’s Front Range. We’re heading toward the biggest special edition of the year at the paper, and that requires a lot of preparation. On top of that, of course, there’s the anti-shackling bill.

But before I update you on all of that, I wanted to talk about music again. This week, I thought I’d share the songs I typically listen to when I’m gearing up to write love scenes, and also my preliminary playlist for Zach and Natalie.

Some of the songs on Zach and Natalie’s list are completely new to me — “Beautiful” by 10 Years; “Santa Monica” by Theory of a Deadman; “Call Me” by Shinedown; “Bother” by Stone Sour; “Break Me Shake Me” by Savage Garden, which one of you suggested.

Of those, “Call Me” resonates for Zach at the moment — at least the first several lines — because he’s certain he’s going to be dead in the next couple of days. I like “Santa Monica,” too, though it has no application to the story itself. Again, a lot of the music I listen to is just to help set the mood.

“Champion in Me” by 3 Doors Down is a great song for a Navy SEAL, as is “Shine.” And “Landing in London” is just one of my favorites songs over the course of the past two years.

As for the sexy love songs, they range from Madaonna’s “Justify My Love” to Brian Adams’ “Everything I do (I Do It For You),” which together have more plays than any other sexy-ish, romantic song. If I find a song that hits the mood of the story, I’ll play it over and over for hours.

Also on that list: “Kiss from a Rose,” by Seal; “Chasing Cars,” by Snow Patrol; “Truly, Madly, Deeply,” by Savage Garden; “Unchained Melody” by U2; “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye; “Feelin’ Love,” by Paula Cole; “Nights are Forever Without You,” by England Dan and John Ford Coley; “Freak Me,” by Silk; “Could I Have This Kiss Forever,” by Enrique Iglesias; and “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel, as well as many others.

I have another list that’s just romantic songs, and one that’s more down and dirty sexy songs, like “Closer,” because sex isn’t always about romance. Sometimes it’s about sweat and pheromones and coming hard and fast.

I am always, always open to new music. Suggestions are welcome! When I get a chance, I'll publish these as iMixes on iTunes so you can browse through them that way.



Now for an update on Senate Bill 193:

Wednesday, as you probably know, was its first hearing. That gave us a taste of who might be opposing the bill and why. No one showed up to oppose the bill at all. Because politics are so partisan these days, I expected the senators who weren’t in Sen. Hudak’s party to oppose it just for fun, as both sides do. However, though they asked the most questions, the questions they asked were thoughtful — a good thing because they’re all male.

One of them seemed not to believe that any women in Colorado was ever shackled. He asked, “Do we even know that this happens in the state?” sounding very doubtful. Ironically, he’s from the district where our state prison department is headquartered, and being on the Senate Judiciary Committee, he’s supposed to be an expert. I got a silent laugh out of that.

I was, indeed, nervous, but not as much as I expected to be. As soon as the senators started asking questions that other witnesses couldn’t answer, I felt like the know-it-all kid in the classroom — the proverbial Harmione Granger who just has to raise her hand and answer. Of course, in legislative committee hearings, you don’t raise your hand; you wait your turn. And that was hard!

I thought I did a decent job of testifying. I had to stop a couple of times to make sure my mouth was keeping up with my brain. I made the male senators grimace when I talked about the guards strip-searching women with stitches. So that was fun.

My mother went to see what it was all about and ended up passing a note to one of the lobbyists who handed it to the senator carrying the bill explaining that the immediate postpartum recovery period is about 42 hours for a vaginal birth and 72 for a c-section. She used to work as a labor and delivery nurse, so she was able to make her contribution, too.

The midwives who work with incarcerated moms-to-be sent a representative to speak on their behalf, and when I saw her my jaw dropped. She was the certified nurse midwife who caught Benjy when he was born. I said, “You were my midwife when my second son was born!” And she said, “I thought you looked familiar.” That was wild!

As people were testifying on behalf of the bill one by one, I had a surreal moment where I realized none of them would be there if not for me. That felt good — and very strange. And then I almost got choked up because here was a room full of people talking about the humanity and the needs of women in prison. How often does that happen? Rarely.

The committee couldn’t vote because the bill has moved so fast that we don’t yet have a fiscal note — an analysis of how much the bill will cost the state. Typically in Colorado if a bill has a fiscal note, it’s dead. However, the fiscal note in this case is attached to a provision of the bill that I created to guarantee public accountability by requiring a report to be filed any time a woman is shackled. Why did they do it? For how long? What kind of shackles did they use? It’s an attempt to make sure they’re following the law. And it guarantees nosy reporters access to a font of public records.

Remember how the I-Team heroines are always filing open-records requests? That’s what investigative reporters do. So I’m trying to set it up so that there will be public records to request.

However, I won’t kill my own bill to accomplish that. So if the fiscal note means death, then we’ll cut that provision.

I got a firm sense that if this bill were about nothing other than not shackling women during labor and birth, it would sail through. So that left me feeling very optimistic. If we pass through Senate Judiciary and the appropriations committee (for the fiscal note), then the bill will be off to the Senate for debate. If it clears the Senate after three readings, then we start over in the House. I do have a House sponsor now.

Afterward the hearing, I spoke with one of the witnesses. She’s a legal expert on birth-related issues. She asked if I’d like to participate in setting up an online database so that other women in other states can download the info and use it to get shackling banned in their states. And, of course, I would love to do that. We’ll wait till this bill passes. I’ll do some writing for that project, and hopefully women across the country will get ready for next year’s legislative session and change the lives of women in prison.

We’ll take the bill up again next Wednesday for a vote.

In the meantime, I’ve got a few more historical novel sketches to prep for my agent, as well as Chapter 2 of Zach and Natalie’s story to write. I want to get through Chapter 3 this weekend. I need to make some writing goals and see what kind of ridiculous schedule I need to keep to finish the book by August, which is my plan.

I won’t be online much, because I really, really don’t want you all to have to wait forever for this book.

Have a great weekend!

I am a music fanatic. I’ve always been that way. Even back when I was 4 years old, music playing on the stereo would make me jump out of the tub and run, wet and naked, on fast little feet out to the living room to dance. My parents probably thought there was something developmentally wrong with me.

In school, I was in choir, marching band and concert band. Plus, I listened to music non-stop at home. When the Walkman came out, it became my constant companion. No need to tell you that I'm an iPod devotee.

But music is also one of my primary sources of inspiration for my writing. Without music, would there be words? I'm not sure. I use music to manipulate myself emotionally, setting up playlists for characters, for certain scenes in books, and general play lists for novels.

Several of you have asked about my playlist for Naked Edge, but rather than just listing that, I thought I’d put them all up here. So whether you’re on Team Reece, Team Julian, Team Marc or Team Gabe (or are preemptively signing up for Team Zach), you’ll find something here to give you insight into those characters — or at least the odd inner workings of my brain, which is much less exciting.

So get ready to sample some tunes at the iTunes store. I won’t be able to list everything here, just the most significant songs for each book.

Extreme Exposure
I haven't saved this list — it’s been a while now — so I’m going from memory. I listened to a lot of Eminem (esp. Lose Yourself and 8 Mile) while I wrote this. Not sure why. But the most “Reece” song to me was Five for Fightin's Superman (playcount 1,630). I saw Reece as a hero who was almost too good for the world around him, a man who just wanted to be a man but whose sense of right and wrong was so strong that it led him to this sea of conflict — but also, ultimately, happiness with Kara. That song for some reason evokes that for me. For the scenes at the cement plant at the end of the book, I wanted something that sounded violent and evoked factory machinery. So I listened to U2’s “Mofo” from Pop. And that's about all I can remember...

Hard Evidence
I still have some of this playlist on my iTunes.
“Jerusalem Poker” by Bruce Cockburn — evoked Julian’s inner cool during violence
“Savin' Me” by Nickelback — This might sound like a Marc song (in fact, he might have grown out of it), but to me it evoked Julian’s inner struggle and his being trapped in a sense of worthlessness. It is the most “Julian” song I can think of. Plus he was in prison at one point.
“Feelin' Way Too Damn Good” — this made me feel his sense of disbelief that he’d fallen in love
“If You Wear That Velvet Dress” — This was the end of the story for me. It starts at Julian’s bleakest moment when Tessa is gone, then resolves into their being together and all danger being past. This is one of those instances where it’s more the emotion of the music than the lyrics.

I also listened incessantly to a mixtape put together by Joe Thunder and some of his homies. This was hip hop from Aurora — A-Town, Julian’s stomping ground. This was right off the street. You can’t get it anywhere, plus none of the songs have titles.

Unlawful Contact
The name of this playlist is actually MARC&SOPHIE. I think in terms of characters, because they have to feel like people to me to feel real to you.
The love scene in the prologue needed a sense of innocent sensuality, and I got that from “One Summer Night” by the Danleers. Think of Marc's ’55 Chevy.
“Spybreak” and “Clubbed to Death” from The Matrix soundtrack fed the actions scenes.
“Running Away” by Hoobastank — what else but prison escape music? “Where Do I Hide?” by Nickelback came in there, too.
“Running to Stand Still,” U2's song about heroin addiction, was Megan for me. Love this song.
“Worthy To Say” by Nickelback and “Cocaine” by Eric Clapton helped feed the street scenes, particularly anything having to do with drugs.
“Better Than Me” and “Lips of An Angel” brought to mind Marc's sense that Sophie deserved better. Again, it’s not always the lyrics. Sometimes it’s just the emotion it evokes.
As for the love the two felt for each other, “Truly Madly Deeply” and “Chasing Cars” were high up there.
And the ultimate Marc song? “When I'm Gone” by 3 Doors Down. This was the beginning of my 3 Doors Down obsession. See if you think this fits:


That scene that made people really anxious toward the end of the book, the one that involves bullets... (I’m trying to do this without spoilers) I listened to one song for an entire weekend just to convince myself that the worst had happened and that it was O-V-E-R in a permanent way. And that was the love theme from the 1969 film Romeo & Juliet, titled “A Time for Us.” And I cried my way through an entire box of Puffs writing that scene.

Excerpt:

Marc met her gaze, gave her fingers a squeeze, then spoke haltingly. “I’m sorry… Dragged you into this.”

“Shhh!” She ran her knuckles over his cheek, trying not to cry and failing miserably. “You just rest now. Save your strength.”

“Don’t cry… No happy endings… not for us… not this time. But for you… you’ll find happiness… the right man.”

“Don’t you even say that, Marc Hunter, damn it!”

“You helped me… find Megan. Thank you… is not enough.” He looked to where his sister sat crying quietly, the baby clutched in her arms. “I love you, Megan… Promise me… no more drugs. Be… a good mom. Tell Emily… I love her, too.”

“I-I promise.” Her face contorted with grief, Megan gulped back a sob and held the baby out so that he could touch her, Emily’s little fist closing around his finger.

“Cop… ” Hunt’s gaze shifted to Julian. “Watch over Sophie. Megan and Emily, too.”

“You know I will.” Julian met Sophie’s gaze. “Three minutes, thirty seconds.”

“Sprite?” Hunt took another shaky breath, his pale face a mask of pain, his gaze searching for her.

“I’m here, right here.” She squeezed his hand, but this time he didn’t squeeze back.
His seemed to relax when he saw her. “I... love you… Always have… Every day… you. My fairy sprite.”

“I love you, too, do you hear me?” She sobbed the words.

His mouth curved in a weak grin. “I… hear you.”

Their gazes locked, the love she saw in his eyes undimmed by pain. And for a moment it was just the two of them—just her and Hunt.

“You mean everything to me, Marc Hunter. Everything.” She leaned down, pressed her lips to his, her palm pressed against the rapid thrum of his heart.

He answered her kiss, his lips like ice.

Then the distant beat of a helicopter drew her gaze to the sky.

By the time she looked down again, his eyes were closed.

And that brings us to...

Naked Edge

I have many playlists for this book. Kat has one. Gabe has one. The sex scenes have their own list. The book in general has one. The big scene at the end of the book has its own playlist. If you absolutely must know all of the songs, e-mail me. Here are the highlights:

Gabe:
“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails — what else could be the soundtrack to his sex life?
“Unforgiven II” and “Fade to Black” by Metallica for his climbing scenes
“Broken” by Lifehouse for Gabe’s feelings about Kat
“It's Been Awhile,” “Right Here,” and “Tangled Up In You” by Staind are strong Gabe songs, especially the first, which is kind of the ultimate Gabe song:



I listened to a lot of 3 Doors Down, too, but Staind really took over after the first six months or so.

Kat:
The entire soundtrack to the movie Thunderheart
The soundtrack to How the West was Lost
“Meditations on Dinetah,” by R. Carlos Nakai (Dinetah means Navajoland, and Nakai is Diné)
The entire CD Fire Crow by Joseph Fire Crow

This music also served to fuel the action scenes toward the end.

Other significant songs:
“Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak and “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias for the love scenes (together with a bunch of others)
“You and Me” by Lifehouse for their wedding at the end and the epilogue.
“Supermassive Black Hole," by Muse for skiing scenes (that turn into snow angels).
“Sometime Around Midnight” for Gabe's broken heart


And for the scene that made you hate me? This will probably seem weird, but Annie Lennox singing “Into the West” from the third Lord of the Rings movie. It is, after all, a song about dying and grief.

And there you have it.

I’m always looking for new music. Oftentimes, when I feeling like I'm suffering from writer’s block it's actually musical ennui — being sick of all my music. So feel free to share, especially if you’ve got music that evokes torture. I could use some of that for Zach right now. (Let the teasing begin! Bwahaha!)